Moving to Minessota

Aug 12: Moved to our new home in Minnesota. It is so beautiful here. The landscape is so serene and picturesque. I can hardly wait to see it covered in snow. This is God’s country, I love it here!

Oct 14: Minnesota is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are turning all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went for a ride through some beautiful hills and saw some spotted deer. They are so graceful, they are certainly the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be Paradise. I love it here!

Nov. 11: Deer season starts soon. I can not imagine anyone wanting to kill such an elegant creature. The very symbol of peace and tranquility, hope it will snow soon. I love it here!

Dec. 2: It finally snowed last night. Woke up to find everything covered in white. Looks like a postcard. We went outside and cleaned off the steps and shoveled off the driveway. We had a snowball fight (I won) and when the snowplow came by, we had to shovel the end of the driveway out again. What a beautiful place. Mother nature in perfect harmony. I love Minnesota!

Dec. 12: More snow last night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again (that rascal) and pushed all the snow back into the driveway, but we bundled up and had a good time clearing it - and we made a snowman out of it! A winter wonderland. I love it here!

Dec 19: More snow last night. Could not get out of the driveway to get to work this time. I am exhausted from shoveling. Fucking snowplow.

Dec. 22: More snow last night. White shit all over the place. I have blisters on my hands from all the shoveling. I think the snowplow man hides around the corner and waits until I am done shoveling. Asshole.

Dec 25: White Christmas, my busted ass. More friggin snow. If I ever get my hands on that son of a bitch who drives the snowplow, I swear I will castrate the dumb bastard. Don’t know why they do not use more salt on the roads to melt this fucking ice.

Dec. 29: More white shit last night. We have been inside everyday since Christmas, except for shoveling out the driveway after "Snowplow Harry" comes by. Can’t go anywhere. The car is buried under a mountain of white shit. The weatherman says to expect another ten inches tonight. Do you know how many shovels full of snow ten inches is?

Jan 1: Happy Fucking New Year, the weatherman was wrong again. We got twenty eight inches of white shit this time. At this rate, it will not melt until the fourth of July. The snow plow got stuck up the road and the shit head has the balls to show up at my door and ask to borrow my shovel. After I told him I had already broken six shovels shoveling all the shit he put in my driveway, I broke my last one over his fucking head!

Jan. 8: Finally got out of the house today. We went to the store to get some food and on the way back a goddamn deer ran out in front of the car and I hit the bastard. Did about $3000 dollars worth of damage to the car. Those bloody beasts should be killed. Wish the hunters had shot them last November.

May 3: Took the car to the garage in town. Would you believe the thing is rotting out from all the salt they used on the roads? Car looks like a piece of shit!

April 10: Moved to Arizona. I cannot imagine anyone in their right friggin mind would ever want to live in that God forsaken state of Minnesota.